Ten Jokes about COBOL

Our editors here at the mcode mansion flat think they are hilarious. We'll let you be the judge.

1. Why did the COBOL programmer bring a ladder to work?

Because they heard the code was written in tiers!

2. Why was the COBOL programmer considered a superhero?

Because he always had his cape-abilities ready to debug the code!

3. How does a COBOL programmer fix her mistakes?

By going back in time and preventing them from being errors!

4. Why did the COBOL programmer always carry a fishing rod to work?

Because she was always debugging and trying to catch float errors!

5. Why did the COBOL programmer always win at poker?

Because he was an experts at spotting and handling the many "CALL & DEPLOY" bluffs in code!

6. Why do COBOL programmers make great comedians?

Because they always bring the punch(line) cards!

7. Why do COBOL programmers prefer winter?

Because it's when they feel the most comfortable with bit operations! [Editors’ Note: we’re actually not sure why this is funny, but our AI tells us it is. Can you explain it?]

8. Why did the COBOL programmer switch careers to become an actor?

Because he couldn't pass up the opportunity to star in a "Class"ic!

9. How did the COBOL programmer light up a room?

By using a flashlight since she’s so familiar with "GO TO" statements!

10. Why did the COBOL programmer start a catering business?

Because he knew how to serve up some tasty "PERFORM with DELIGHT" loops!

We are seriously considering whether humor is our future.